“If Loving Them is Wrong, Do What’s Right”

Pride aside. Unashamed. I’m going to be as transparent as possible right now. There is too much pain in the world concerning families in particular when it all boils down to sexual immorality. People are hurting. Children are hurting. But we continue to promote sin because it’s worn good. It’s glamorized. It’s promoted as love, and it is not. Ladies and gentleman, if you are not sure that a man is married, there are public records that you can search online, access them anywhere, background checks. Don’t choose to be foolish and naive believing someone that tells you their not married. Separation is still considered “married”, and if that fool die his wife still gets everything. Since we want to talk about a piece of paper. She still gets the disability check, SSI, Retirement, house car, and everything else that’s tied to him. He is married. Also, there is more than one side to a story. If he or she has moved on with or sexually active with you, what makes you think it’s going to work. A Woman in the news wanting to put in the obituary as the “girlfriend”, and this man has a WIFE. He’s still someone’s husband. Women/men sleeping with married people saying their going to leave their spouse or the divorce is in progress. Girl/boy bye. 

Even after the Divorce, repentance, forgiveness, ones soul needs time to heal. One has to get with the only Creator for SOUL healing, so that divorce doesn’t continue to happen. You know you’ve moved on to fast if you still got mail coming to the address in their name, clothes and other objects still at the house, people didn’t know you were even separates/divorced, your straight outta bed and the labor and delivery room together. Funny, but I’m just saying. Marrying and making babies with the wrong one, is no different from fornicating  and having babies. Children and families are going to experience the same pain. Individuals who don’t go to God for healing and admit and accept their wrongs will continue to repeat the same cycles. There is no woman or man on this earth that can change someone else. We can’t even change ourselves. Honestly, take it from me you’ve already failed at a peaceful and Satisified God filled relationship. It’s already failed. Trust has already been tainted. If  there’s chaos and confusion going in, it’s remains the same throughout. Don’t let these unequally yoke celebrity marriages fool you. There are Godly men and women living holy, waiting for God to send them a spouse. How about fishing in that pond. You’ll be blessed with a good catch. 

I Won’t Complain

Powerful Words for Today: Found myself complaining about things I’ve gone through and still deal with, but God is so Good. My father revealed to me in the midst of my distress a vision of exchanging my problems for someone else. Not knowing that someone is dealing with “their worst”, maybe something he didn’t give me grace or strength to handle. The weight on my shoulders lifted immediately. Would you take your problems to someone today, and trade them not knowing exactly what’s behind that door? Would you trade your loss job experience, with a loss child? Would you trade your good health for sickness? The grass is not greener we say. Everything that glitters ain’t Gold we say. God specifically designed us to handle what we are personally going through. 
Trade with Jesus! He’s asked us to:““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭NIV‬‬

We all have a different plan for our lives according the Creator/Our Father who arts in Heaven. God is in the business of building character, he’s not trying to kill us even though it can feel like it at times. So that his Will may be done on earth as it is in heaven. Take time today to thank God for the Afflictions that only keeps us on his path of righteousness.
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:17-22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:3, 12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My Best

I’m content, but not Satisified.

I’m Grateful, but not Satisified. 

Not when I serve and is Faithful to a God who is, and created everything. 

Not when I know that my God has greater. 

I’ve done my best with what I have, the cards I was dealt in life.

My Best.

It hurts when your best is compared to someone else’s best.

My Best.

I’m a warrior. I fight to the finish in everything I do.

I don’t do anything without going all in, and is why God called me. I have no regrets.

But God, I can’t win a game of chest without a king or queen.

Neither can I win a game of spades with any duces. 

My Best.

The hand I was dealt in life set me up for failure, but with you I can win. I have won. 

You make ways out of no ways. You go on against the odds. You make rivers in the dessert. 

My Best.

That’s all you require. I’m expecting your perfection and favor in everything from here on out. 

What’s funny is, when I’m at my worst it’s actually me tired from doing my best. 

My best is “my best” and that’s all I’m accountable for. Knowing that everything I do that brings you glory, and everything I pour my heart and soul into is blessed. Tears and cheers of joy to My Best! 

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬


The Dress Changed Me

One day I simply decided to go to Dillards Clothing store to try on dresses just to feel beautiful. I thought to myself maybe I’ll buy one to wear to bring in the new year, or just because I haven’t bought anything in a while. I hadn’t bought any clothing for that matter due to hiding my weight in maternity clothing, dark colors, and bigger sizes. As I look back over these last four months, my weight wasn’t the only thing I was hiding. I didn’t like who I had become on the outside even though I knew God was working on me inside. I couldn’t see it outwardly. I felt alive, at peace, happy, content, and beautiful until I tried on the dress. I looked at myself in the mirror wearing this absolutely gorgeous dress, but I wasn’t happy with how much weight I had gained and could clearly see it. My arms had stretch marks, my cheeks looked like I had food in them, I had on black (to hide my weight) but could still see my gut, and again the dress was beautiful but I felt horrible. 

My son was born 19 months ago at that time so I felt as if I had no excuse to be over weight. I weighed 242 before I cut out certain foods that were making my hands and feet numb (sugar overdose), breathing heavy, tired and falling asleep on my babies after work, uneccessary pain in my body because I was over weight, and blah, blah. I got down to 232 when I announced my health/weight loss goals to friends and family. Some said, “girl you look fine”, “you don’t need to be too skinny”, “why you trying to lose so much weight”, and finally “go for it, I’m praying for you” my favorite was the last one. Ha! I believe God wants us healthy physically, spiritually, so that we can be strong mentally. There are trials in my life I’m facing right now, and the only thing that I could control was what I put in my mouth, and how I could take care of myself. So, I started that journey after taking off this dress. 

Two days ago I went back looking for the black dress after reaching my goal of 174, but could not find it. It was no longer avaliable at Dillards. There was a white dress exactly like the black one, so I put it on 7 sizes smaller than before. Wow! I thought to myself as I saw the before and after picture. Well, the Holy Spirit spoke to me immediately and said “there was no need for the old dress because I had been made new. The old dress was who I was, but the new dress is who I’am.” Made new, restored, and renewed. It’s crazy how, now, I’m able to see myself as that as well on the outside. No coincidence that the dress was white!  God did it! There is no doubt even in the toughest of times, God is yet in control, and I’ve learned better than ever to continue to take care of myself in him and he’ll fight my battles for me. I’m a walking/living testimony of what God can do. Stay tuned! More goals ahead! And no I did not buy this dress, my mom and others said it looked like a wedding dress.. lol! And there’s no need for that! Shout out to Lecrae, Andy Mineo, KB, Tedashii, Flame, Canon, Trip Lee, Bizzle, Pro, Jai, One Direction, and Destiny Child “Survivor” etc., for my workout motivation… Get you a workout list and jam it hard for motivation. Gym days got canceled when I forgot my headphones at home. Don’t forget your earphones.. Lol!

Who’s Watching You?

I’m on a health and fitness journey at the moment, and working hard to accomplish a goal as a better person and a healthier mom. This lady came up to me in the body pump class (that I attend anywhere from 3-4 times a week) to let me know that she had to be at the front of the class today, and that she’s going to miss me because I motivate/encourage her during class. I had no idea she was watching me. I had no idea that she knew that I had three children, and was encouraged by my lifestyle to work hard. Until she briefly, through passing communicated that to me. Immediately, my mind begin to think about my walk with Christ, and how I choose to live a life pleasing to him. In pleasing God, people notice. Not because I’m showing off or trying to get attention for me, but for the Glory of God. 

It’s so important for Christ followers to know this. We don’t have to pray for hours in public, sit inside of Church buildings 7 days a week, but it’s what we do in everyday life that allows people to see God’s strength at work in us. I get to tell people that this is a season of renewing my health, and I’m only able to do it through Christ who gives me strength. It’s ministry. I will be at my goal weight soon. In about two weeks, and I get to move on from this goal to another. God has used this time in my life to be a blessing to myself and others by sharing my journey. If I only encouraged this one woman I’ve done my part. I know that I have encouraged people that I don’t know. If no one else encouraged me, liked or shared my journey I know that this was for God’s specified few. Whatever journey we are in, we must know someone is watching us. Someone is trying to figure out how you do what your doing, and that opens the door for ministry and relationships. 

If only we actually knew what others deal with and are going through, we would not keep our journeys to ourselves. We would share them as a testimony of encouragement. If God did it for me, he can do it for you. How we go through our journeys, trials, tribulations determine our outcomes. It may take some of us longer than others and that’s okay. I want to encourage someone else today to keep going. Whatever the journey/goal, someone is watching you and they need to see your strength, fight, in Christ to be encourage to it make throughout theirs. A picture of myself and my children lite a fire under my buns, and I was ready for change. I thank God for those I can and have encouraged without knowing. Glory to God! 

Are You A Superhero?

If so, stop it! It’s fictional! We can’t save people from the road that leads to destruction. They won’t listen to you, because of their belief that you will continue to bail them out. We can get in the way of the miracles of God in someone’s life trying to be God. It’s crazy how we can believe in our own strength as if we don’t get it from God. By physically trying to rescue people from their consequences to be exact, only prolongs the lessons that have to be learned in order for internal and external change to take place. We are actually killing ourselves in the process. The world calls it “co dependency”, but God calls it “Idolatry”. Putting people and/or things in his place. But you know us church folk, sometimes we just have to take credit for it, or God’s never moving fast enough right?  

My kids are not at the young adult age yet, but I can feel the pain of parents who have raised their children the best they could and are suffering from situations out of their control. I have experienced being with a man because I felt like my walk with God could help save him, because he had so much potential. I have experienced keeping people in my life who I know we’re not healthy for me, and controlled every move I made. Knowing that I needed to break ties, but I figured they would be lonely and no one else would take care of them.
Unhealthy people, attract unhealthy people. 

In his book Betrayal Bond, Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, Dr. Patrick J.Carnes talks about the cycle of the rescuer, victim, and victimizer role. The role of the rescuer is to try to save the victim, but in the process gets hurt and starts to victimize the victim making them worse off had they left them alone

Example, someone who’s been hurt in a relationship, beautiful, charming, and instead of paying attention to the pain, the purser (rescuer) is thinking selfishly. Words like your too beautiful to have dealt with that, or I can treat you better. Other examples, bailing someone out of jail, and then next breath tearing them down saying their not going to mount to anything. Friending people as victim, but when they make it through their storm jealously and envy sets in. Example, don’t forget where you came from. Reminding them all you you did for them. As Christians, as people, we are incapable of fixing anyone. We can’t fix ourselves. There are temporary bandages we can use, but there is nothing like a eternal encounter that can change someone by one touch from God. Let everyone live their lives and stop trying to live viciously through someone else, control their lives, and lie say your praying for them. 

Whether it’s a spouse, child, friend, whoever, God has a path for them, and of course “faliure” of some sort is apart of it. We can’t keep people from failure, including ourselves, but we can be there kneeling down with our hands reaching for them to pick them up with a pure and sincere heart. 

Whether that’s in prayer or physically. Some of us know that we are not “grace sufficient” dealing with certain people’s sins. Grace sufficient, meaning there are just somethings you can’t tolerate or deal with. We all have limits. Please know yours! 

If your going to judge a woman for being in the strip club don’t minister to her. If your going to beat down a couple having sex before marriage, you probably shouldn’t counsel them. If your going to tell everybody’s business, you shouldn’t be in ministry. Common sense.

Sacrificing Our Soul:Will You Be My Valentine’s Part 2

We are familiar with stories of famous people sacrificing their soul to the devil for fame, and fortune. We tend to envision a demonic image of some sort, and swear that we would never do such a thing or aggressively deny the thought of betraying our true identity. Well, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we all have at some point in our lives. There wasn’t a devil standing there in a red costume, red horns, and a fiery fork. There was a desire for a thing, person, place we desperately wanted so badly that we were willing to compromise who we were in order to have it. We may have scarified our health, a lie, an affair, a relationship, unborn children, and more sinning against our creator to gain a moment of pleasure. For love.

The most dangerous part of sacrificing  one’s soul is the repetition of sin that takes place afterwards.

 “But when the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, it roams through dry [arid] places in search of rest, but it does not find any. Then it says, I will go back to my house from which I came out. And when it arrives, it finds the place unoccupied, swept, put in order, and decorated. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and make their home there. And the last condition of that man becomes worse than the first. So also shall it be with this wicked generation.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭12:43-45‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Not knowing that every time we do such a thing, we are writing a check that can not be cashed, and long suffering that could have been avoided. Thank God for Jesus who has already covered the debt that we will accumulate in our lifetime. Yes, Jesus’ Blood covers our sins and he has paid the price through suffering, but after our sin is covered and we continue in it, there is a price of suffering pain from consequences as well as loss. When we fall down and break a leg, thank God it was just a broken leg it could of been worst, but there is yet pain and recovery from the accident. Same with sin, not all the time do our sin hurt people around us, but it wounds our soul. Our soul has to take time to heal in God, who is the creator and lover of our souls. It’s extremely difficult for me to understand how a man or a woman can jump from one relationship or marriage to another without a season of restoration and healing, and I believe this why there are some many homes destroyed. In our singleness we have to love ourselves, and not sacrifice who we are in order to win someone over. That’s not fair to someone else or ourselves if we start the relationship with a lie, because after awhile the real you, will surface, and that is the most uncomfortable and tormenting way to live.

I blog about love, because I got it wrong so many times and I want to express what I have learned and is still learning in order to help others. I don’t do it to judge others, but to be the bridge that someone can cross over to avoid the mistakes that I made. I’m an educator now and I’ve learned something about myself that explains why I made so many mistakes that could of been avoided simply by observation, and Lord knows I’ve seen a load of people make stupid mistakes. Well, I’m a Kinetic Learner. I had to actively be involved to learn with all five of my senses. Which means, “I’m the one who never outgrew being told that the stove is hot, don’t touch it.” I had to actively engage in sin and experience long suffering, in which drew me closer to God, but my Goodness I could of lost my life had it not been for God on my side. Very stubborn, curious, anxious, “don’t judge me”, Ha! I sold my soul twice for love within the last 10 years and came out bankrupt, busted and disgusted with myself. I went into relationships as a Co dependent, wanting to do and be whoever the guy I was with wanted me to be even if it cost my values, and ruined my identity and reputation. They were worth it honey. He was so sexy, no kids, a job, and a degree. Ha! Jackpot ladies! She was sexy, no kids, a job, and car. She’s independent. Wrong. And Wrong Again.Yes, lets be real ladies and gentlemen. We size our negatives up to that woman or man’s “outward positives”, and call it a match made in heaven. Sad thing is, he’s probably doing the same thing, and the relationship begin with lies and insecurities that I guarantee will surface. Plus, if you have to lie to get somebody, they’re not worth having, and that is a sign that healing still needs to be done in you. I was talking to my mom last night about how it’s so important  to set goals as a single, knowing who we are in Christ and what’s desired in a spouse so we don’t be desperate and settle by lowering those standards. My childhood wounds signaled desperation, attracted me to men like my dad, and had me repeating cycles of sin. Also, being abandoned as a child causes desperation, and makes one anxious to be in a relationship because of the fear of loneliness.

Sacrificing or selling ones soul is a crime against the “Trinity.” God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

“And God both raised the Lord to life and will also raise us up by His power. Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never! Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. [Gen. 2:24.] But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him. Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own, You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:14-20‬ ‭AMP‬

Jesus’ blood saves, redeems, restores, and makes us righteous. He also tells us to go, and sin no more. Our souls have been purchased with the life/blood sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so let’s leave it there. We can’t give away something that already belongs to someone else, but we do. Aren’t those consequences great?

I’ve shifted from that way of learning in the physical to becoming actively “with all five of my senses” in the Spiritual by being involved in my relationship with God. I have “tasted” and “seen” that the Lord is good. Psalms 34:8. I have “put” my trust in the Lord, he never lets me be put to shame, and delivers me in his righteousness. Psalms 31:1. I encourage all of us, no matter how many times we fall, we have to get back up, and overcome the pain in humility. Surrendering ourselves totally to our creator, so that he can make us whole in him. That way we can experience true love for ourselves, and someone else someday. This is the only guarantee of love and eternal life, and only comes with God’s way of doing things. Some people sell their souls and the pain of recovery becomes to difficult to bear, and they never recover or return back to God. So let’s stop compromising or selling our souls for a moment of pleasure that may cause a lifetime of pain.